If you’ve ever been on an extended road trip or invited to a slumber party or spent a year as an eighth grader, you’ve probably played “Would You Rather.”
The rules are amazingly simple and universally understood. But on the off-chance you are seeing us from outer space, here’s how the “Would You Rather” game functions: You start by presenting a dilemma of two equally horrid-appearing (or sometimes equally enticing alternatives to the other player.
You then smirk as the other player wrestles with such an impossible scenario. Once they pick the things that they consider to be the less terrible of two atrocious situations, it’s their turn to come up with a dilemma for you.
The game is a regular section on the Comedy Bang! Bang! podcast. Star guests including Ice T and Bernie Sanders are requested by host Scott Aukerman to pick the things that they believe to be the finest of two horrific scenarios.
The beauty of “Would You Rather” is its simplicity. The game of would you rather needs no advance knowledge and no abilities outside a little bit of originality. But it’s only as enjoyable as the folks you play with. There’s no denying that the more absurd and sometimes X rated “Would You Rather” gets, the more enjoyable it becomes.
For a little inspiration, here are some uncomfortable suggestions compiled from Reddit, either.io, and our sick, sick imaginations.
The finest “Would You Rather” questions
Would you rather acquire pounds or be banned from the net for a month?
Would you rather an unrecognizable kid picture of you be the theme of a vicious internet meme (i.e. Ermahgerd Girl that continues for years, or be the laughingstock of Twitter for a day?
Would you rather accidentally “enjoy” a two-year-old picture of your significant other’s ex whom you were in the middle of Facebook stalking, or accidentally send a sext to your mother?
Would you rather have to read every word of the “terms and conditions” when you are prompted to, or need to ask your parents for permission every time you have sex?
Would you rather be a millionaire or live in the world of Harry Potter?
Would you rather live in the world of Star Wars or cure a rare kind of cancer?
Would you rather be allergic to chocolate or allergic to smartphones?
Would you rather have your Seamless account hacked and all the details made public, or have all your files and folders filled with pornography?
Would you rather be in a real-life edition of The Walking Dead or a real-life version of Game of Thrones?
Would you rather be forever banned from Tinder or be forever banned from all grocery stores within a -mile radius of where your home is?
Would you rather have a hacker swoop in and publicize all the selfies you’ve taken in the past year (without filters or have your personal email hacked?
Would you rather lose the aptitude vote in elections or the capability to say anything on social media (including commenting on people’s Facebook posts or enjoying their pictures on Instagram?
Would you rather have the capability to find out why someone you are dating phantoms on you or the capability to see actual phantoms?
Would you rather lose all of the pictures you’ve taken on your smartphone this year or lose all of the publications you have?
Would you rather attain friends in real life or , followers on Twitter?
Harambe or the late Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia?
Would you rather be catfished or the victim of identify theft?
Would you rather lose access to a smartphone for a year and get a percentage raise at work or keep your smartphone and the same wages?
Would you rather have the last five pictures on your own camera roll appear on a billboard in Times Square or have every unflattering picture you’ve untagged yourself from on Facebook reappear overnight?
Would you rather be able to select the person who becomes the following President of the United States or the individual who directs Star Wars: Episode X?
Would you rather be made to drink only pumpkin spice lattes and no other coffee for the remainder of your life or only LaCroix for the remainder of your life?
Would you rather lose your ability to text or lose your capability to provide a high-five?
Would you rather sound like Jar-Jar Binks for the remainder of your life or Siri?
Would you rather lose the capability to utilize GPS for the remainder of your life or lose the aptitude use a debit or credit card?
Would you rather don only Sailor Moon outfits for the remainder of your life or dress like the cast of Hamilton for the remainder of your life?
Would you rather have the capability to see every text which wasn’t sent to you or the skill to see every text that’s about you?
Would you rather have naked pictures of you leaked on the internet but not seen by anyone you understand or unintentionally moon everyone at work during an important meeting?
Would you rather have eyes that can film everything or ears that can record everything?
Would you rather be doxed by Anonymous or have your advice leaked in a health insurance provider hack?
Would you rather have Reddit take up percentage of your day or gag take up percentage of your day?
Would you rather have Trump win the presidential election or have the voice in your head sound like Trump for the remainder of your life?
Would you rather eat the Twitter bird or the World Wildlife Fund panda?
Would you rather constantly get stuck in traffic or constantly have a really slow internet connection?
Would you rather have a flying car or have Tbps Internet connection?
Would you rather get chosen for the Hunger Games or the Triwizard Tournament?
Would you rather live in the Pokmon universe but only be able to get one Rattata or live in the Harry Potter universe but be a Squib?
Would you rather get trolled on Twitter by hundreds or get called an offensive name on the road by a stranger?
Would you rather read everything that Kim Kardashian has ever tweeted or be forced to only use Kimoji for the remainder of your life?
Would you rather be made to see your friends only once a month or lose Twitter followers each month?
Would you rather have unlimited storage space on your own iPhone or infinite storage space in real-life?
Would you rather live out the Zola tweet rage in real life or have to follow DJ Khaled’s advice for a month?
Would you rather have Google search results for your name mistaken with a condemned killer or a well-known pornstar?
Would you rather give the rest of the web control over your Twitter account or give your mother control over your Tinder account?
Would you rather be a extremely successful YouTube star who’s accidentally covered by chan or a uploader everyone respects but no one watches?
Would you rather have the capability to teleport every time you fart or heal any wound by crying at it?
Would you rather have every Tinder match be able to read your other messages or never manage to use computers or smartphones for dating again?
Would you rather be able to talk to your pet or to those who are dead via Facebook messenger?
Would you rather take a glance at your Mom or your Dad’s web history?
Would you rather have male birth control or six weeks of maternity leave for each girl?
Would you rather have dogs or cats forever banned from your Instagram feed?
Would you rather sucker punch a Nazi or get into a televised debate with a Nazi contending against their points?
Would you rather have a chilly three months out of the year or have to see a physician to get viral marketing from the head?
Would you rather always use LOL-talk in real life, even at funerals, or only communicate using a series of emoji that pop up over your head?
Would you rather be a loser on The Bachelor or a winner on Jeff Foxworthy’s American Bible Challenge?
Would you rather have your most embarrassing moment recorded in a GIF which goes viral or face your greatest fear?
Would you rather never need to improve your personal computer or never need to improve your smartphone?
Would you rather have Batman’s abilities, money, equipment, and lifestyle or ending offense round the world for good but be poor and unnoticed?